Sunday -- 16 Ramazan 1425 -- 09 Kartika 1926 -- 31 October 2004

I got a new haircut today.

It does not look good. Not at all.

I hate the guy who did this to me.

I want to take the tv in his shop that will not stop blaring retarded music and hit it on the head of the moronic hairdresser who forgot what style I told him and made me into what can be called a 17 year old boytoy!


My crush of the week is Albie Selznick. Who by the way is just too hot to not have millions of pictures and fan websites all over the net. But he doesnt. What is wrong with humans?

Crush of the week

2004 12 05 - Jason Brooks
2004 11 07 - Christian Slater
2004 10 31 - Albie Selznick

Saturday -- 15 Ramazan 1425 -- 08 Kartika 1926 -- 30 October 2004

Oh dear lord!

I had quite the fever last night. Which means that I was reasonably delirious for quite a long period of time. Which in other words means long, strange, morbid and shocking articles in Urdu and English. I read the two articled today.

I think I scared myself.

And about the vicious lies and heretical falsehoods being spread by Umar. I am not pregnant! He lies. He lies, He lies, He lies.

Friday -- 14 Ramazan 1425 -- 07 Kartika 1926 -- 29 October 2004

Oh man, I am so so so so sick today. I have a horribly sore throat. I have a fever. My whole body is aching. Hmmmm, is there anything left? Oh, yes, I also have an upset stomach, brain, eye, nose and gray matter.

I spent the whole day lying in bed and groaning. I love groaning. It makes it so much more classique. Lying in bed groaning, telling everyone that the wind is about to take you away. Well, then again, maybe it is not classique, maybe it is morbid.

But I have a 101.3 degree fever and I am sure I am reasonably delirious and I can say all this.

Oh and to top it all. I indulged in my favourite activity while I am sick. I indulged in my favourite activity.

Partition of India: Legend and Reality

H.M. Seervai

This is a very interesting book. It gives a new interpretation of the events leading to the partition of India in 1947. The writer is a former Advocate General of Maharashtra state in India. He has used evidence released by the British Government in the 70s and 80s regarding the events in British India between 1942 and 1947 to give his own view of the events and actors of that time.

He has stated that the Congress led by Gandhi, Nehru and Patel made huge errors of judgement. They wanted the Congress to dominate India even at the expense of crushing the opposition. He states that this attitude led Jinnah to demand partition.

I liked this book, quite a lot, because it presents a point of view that I have held for at least the last four years. And this too to the horror of all the Pakistanis that I have had the chance of sharing it with.

For those of you who do not agree with what I have just written, I would suggest a reading of the book.

Thursday -- 13 Ramazan 1425 -- 06 Kartika 1926 -- 28 October 2004

Today I had to go to a funeral. It has been a long long time since I last went to one. Frankly, I wasn't prepared for it.

The part where I had to give a shoulder to the funeral bier (کندھا دینا) and carry it to a mosque and then to the graveyard was very emotionally and mentally challenging. I was carrying a person. A completely person with all the accompanying things. Then when I was throwing dust on the grave I had a strange feeling that it was my own. Can't tell you how creepy it was. But it was a hell lot more scary than watching Oprah.

Life is so so fleeting. Here now, gone suddently. Very very fleeting. Better make the best of what we have. Spent every moment so there are no regrets later on in life.

Wednesday -- 12 Ramazan 1425 -- 05 Katik 1926 -- 27 October 2004

Today I had my first 'Aftar party' for Ramazan. Went out with college friends, rather, went to one of my friend's house. He lives alone and that is why we eventually end up crashing at his place. I can say that Aftari is as wonderful when it is a completely new cuisine as it is otherwise.

During the course of the evening we learnt that one of our friends has just been rejected by a family whome his family had approached for marriage. So, obviously all the time was spent in making fun of the poor guy. We actually ended up counting, and then writing down, 34 reasons why noone would want to give their daughter in marriage to him. I would want to say poor guy. But someone who makes us laugh like drunk coyotes for hours on end is not one to be pitied.

Ahhhhhh. The good times! Oh, actually no. Not "ahhhh the good times". Rather, "the good times!". Since we are going to have a much enlarged version of todays events in about a week. Larger party, more points to ponder why M was rejected by the girl's family.

خاکم بدہن

مشتاق احمد یوسفی

آج ہی ختم کی ہے۔ ایک بہت اچھے مصنف کی ایک بہت اچھی کتاب۔ یوسفی نے نو حصوں میں جتنا مزاح بھر دیا ہے ممکن نہیں کہ کوئی اور بھر سکے۔

یوسفی کا مخصوص انداز کہ جس میں الفاظ اور واقعات کے استعمال کے ذریعے مزاح پیدا کیا جاتا ہے بہت ہی دلفریب ہے۔

اچھی اردو اور اچھے مزاح کے تمام قارعین کے لیے یہ کتاب پڑھنا لازمی ہے۔

Book Reviews


1425 - 10 - 25 - The Rise and Fall of the Great Powers
1425 - 09 - 14 - Partition of India: Legend and Reality


1425 - 09 - 12 - خاکم بدہن

Tuesday -- 11 Ramazan 1425 -- 04 Katik 1926 -- 26 October 2004

Today in numbers and cool facts and figures. YeY!

Number of times I said to myself "stop talking to yourself!" - 4
Number of times I said to myself "stop thinking about eating plastic!" - 3
Amount of food eaten in Kilos - 47.5
Number of times I said to myself "shut up" - 7
Hours of completely deep sleep - 12.7
Number of realizations of the need of a life - 17
Number of times I said to myself "You are not crazy Jalal!!!" - 12
Number of times I said to myself "You are completely normal Jalal!!!" - 12

Most of the saner ones from amongst my readers would have realized that I did not sit by all day trying to count all these. These are of course rough estimates and any statement to the contrary would be denied by me.

ہجر کی راکھ اور وصال کے پھول

آج پھر درد و غم کے دھاگے میں
ہم پرو کر تیرے خیال کے پھول

ترک الفت کے دشت سے چن کر
آشنائی کے ماہ و سال کے پھول

تیری دہلیز پر سجا آئے
پھر تیری یاد پر چڑھا آئے

باندھ کر آرزو کے پلے میں
ہجر کی راکھ اور وصال کے پھول

فیض احمد فیض

Monday -- 10 Ramazan 1425 -- 03 Katik 1926 -- 25 October 2004

I need the opinion of you guys on something. Just post a comment to give your opinion.

I was watching TV today and I saw something that I liked a lot. I said (not loud) "Fertilize Me!".

So is that

a - Perverted
b - Nasty
c - Cute
d - None of the above you big big freak.

Sunday -- 09 Ramazan 1425 -- 02 Katik 1926 -- 24 October 2004

Well I hope you are happy!!!

Actually I dont. I just wanted to say that and see how it seems. It seems retarded. So I will not do it any more.

Another day in Ramazan and another Roza (fast). Nothing to eat or drink from daybreak till sunset.Oh, and yes, no sex during this period of time as well. The not eating part doesn't bother me, the not drinking part makes my life hell. Thirst is the silent killer for my fasting days. By sunset I am so thirsty that I could actually drink sea water.

So, to all of you out there who are fasting, have a good Roza!

And a very very very belated Ramazan Mubarak!.

Saturday -- 08 Ramazan 1425 -- 01 Katik 1926 -- 23 October 2004

I told you all about the hunk I saw a couple of days ago when I had to go to a computer shop to buy a CD. If I didnt I am sorry for the oversight. I have told you now. OK. I will stop apologizing and go on with the story. No, seriously, I will stop now.

Seeing that I am such a computer person I overused my mouse and "accidentally" broke it. Of course I loved the previous mouse and would not have hurt it on purpose. I just dropped it and it broke. Eliciting a short trip to the computer store. Yet again.

Once there I realized that the guy was alone, again. I suddenly remembered that I have to get a set of headphone, maybe because there were too many and I may take a bit of time to decide which one to take.

Oh, and yes, the guy was hitting on me. Not blatantly, because there were four other people in the same place. But he was definitely hitting on me. Suffice to say that I have had a severe adrenaline rush for the last four hours.

Oh, and yes, if you read this blog - you would know who I am. Email me at You will learn that I need to learn that "it is ok to say no".

Friday -- 07 Ramazan 1425 -- 30 Asavaj 1926 -- 22 October 2004

I met up with T the day before yesterday. I called him up and he told me that last year we met on the 20th of Octerber. So we decided to meet up on the 20th of October this year as well. I dont know why but I really enjoy meeting up with him. Even if it is on the same day year after year.

And yes, some of you have been making very interesting comments. So if any one else from amongst you wants to make any propositions, hurry up and get listed. :)

As far as that, things were going well. Then my internet connection died. And I couldnt sit on the computer for three days, so here I am.




Wow! Deep Breaths ... in out in out in out in out ... :) Good :) I will leave now. :)

Tuesday -- 04 Ramazan 1425 -- 27 Asavaj 1926 -- 19 October 2004

Another wonderful day for fasting. About fifteen minutes before sunset I think I bit my sister until she developed a sore and bled to a coma.

Oh, no sorry, that is the mental version. In real life I just pulled myself to the table and ate 78 kilos of meat. Good God today was a hard hard fast.

And to top it all I was watching the episode of Sienfeld where they had the bet about who could hold out the longest and I laughed so much that I had an actual attack. I couldnt breathe. Things got so frantic that I had to throw myself at the corner of the sofa to force myself to breathe. Immefiately after that I fell down besides the sofa and kept laughing.

If I dont have sex soon I am going to get crazier and crazier. Damnit!

Oh and to top this all of, as if life without regular sex wasnt bad enough I have to see him,him and him on tv all day long to make it worst.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think I will go and take care of myself now. Otherwise I am just too cranky

Monday -- 03 Ramazan 1425 -- 26 Asavaj 1926 -- 18 October 2004

I am very very afraid of acknowledging this but I think it might finally have happened.

I think I am growing old.

I am starting to have a strange unexplainable dislike for Mondays.

Or maybe it is just that I have to force myself to get up after having completely lost all sense of time and discipline over the weekend. Hmmmmm.

Nahhhhh, I am growing old.

Sunday -- 02 Ramazan 1425 -- 25 Asvaj 1926 -- 17 October 2004

Wow! Today was a LONG LONG Roza (fast). I mean how long can a day get. I mean, sunset, come on already.

It came to a situation where mom finished making the aftari (post fast meal) about 10 mins before the Maghrib Azaan (Call to prayer precisely at sunset). So we were all sitting at the table and looking at the food. A hell lot of food since everyone had been cooking all day. For lack of something better to do. I actually spent 10 minutes today sitting in front of food and deciding how to eat food.

People have written Essays on which their lives depended with less forethought. I was actually definiting my culinary experience to the bite. Eg - "one bite of c becaue it is salty then a bite of e because it is slughtly sweet then some h because of its nice taste ... and on and on and on ...

Needless to say that as soon as the sound of the Azaan came to my ears I started eating with such haste that all form or format to the eating ritual was put aside.

What the hell is wrong with me?????

01 Ramazan 1425 -- 24 Asvaj 1926 -- 16 October 2004

Today was the first of Ramazan. Millions of people worldwide must have kept a fast from daybreak to sunset. So did I.

I had stopped fasting since last year but the car accident thing shocked me so much that I am going to fast the whole month of Ramazan.

By the way I checked up all the newspapers and there were no car accidents reported like the one I was in. So I think she didnt even get badly hurt. Thank God. Weight off my shoulder.

But as God is my witness, I am going to drive perfectly from now on. No more mistakes Jalal, no more mistakes. Not yours. Not someone elses.

28 Shaban 1425 -- 22 Asvaj 1926 -- 14 October 2004

So today was not a very good day.

A woman was crossing the road near the AO Clinic and I couldnt stop because of traffic and she hit my rear view mirror.

I am so rattled my hands are still shaking after two hours.

If it was you I hit; call me; I will give you anything. I am very very sorry.

27 Shaban 1425 -- 21 Asvaj 1926 -- 12 October 2004

1 - I am sorry for getting the Indian Calendar year as 1925. It is actually 1926.
2 - I am sorry for using the Sanskrit name of Asvina for the month. In Urdu it is Asvaj.
3 - I need a life.

So I am BACK!

First of all there is going to be a change. A new look will be up tomorrow. All the blogs will be added into one blog. The current system is stupid.

So I will see you then.