06 Ziqaad 1424

If I have to continue from yesterday. Well I did not go to the traffic light. I was afraid people will think of me as FAT and not buy me. Yes I do have a strange lack of confidence. And today I didn't work out. No. No. No. Wait. Stop. It is not what you think. I am shifting the workout to the mornings. I guess I will be able to do it better that way. So tomorrow morning. 'Al-as-Subha'. Actually I think once this initial muscle pain is over it is very very invigorating.

Late afternoon I decided to listen to music. The first song was "Gham e Dil Ko In Aankhon Say Tapak Jana Bhi Aata Hay". And I promptly(yes, VERY promptly) changed my playlist to old Pakistani movie songs. And I listened to some wonderful oldies. I loved it. Then ammi(mom) came in and told me I am too young for that and I should listen to pop and rap and the likes. And I decided to pull my leg out and beat myself over the head with it. I mean to think that I was so stupid that I wouldn't know that I am supposed to listen to the crap churned out nowadays. I am sorry ammi. I will be a better music connoisseur from now on.

And after a long long time I have some INTERESTING searches leading to my blog.
e-mail addresses of Karachi gays --- DESPERATION !
Floor tiles Pakistan pics --- I don't have any but I would like to see these babies.
Dog Show in Karachi --- ??? ??? Oh and some more ???
Do Guess Papers work for B.A. in Pakistan --- Yeah ... Right !
who are the hottest guys Pakistan --- I CAME IN 5TH !!! I AM FLATTERED

Oh and after not having too much time to use my cranial capacity for showering ire and sarcasm on my society and fellow citizens. Today after some coaxing by Quixotic I have one of those rants that I used to love.

Today's rant is about McDonalds, KFC and Pizza Hut. Those of you who are living in the same world as me know what I am about to say. Which being ... DUDE! They are ONLY fast food places. They are NOT the centre of the UNIVERSE! They are NOT icons to show off your money and your newly earned bribes. They are NOT the Kaaba. I mean come on! The way people walk into the haloed halls and marbled colonnades of these establishments and act as if they have achieved a spiritual and a social nirvana and can barely conceal their sprouting wings and glee is disgusting to say the least. Reflects VERY badly upon us and what we stand for.

05 Ziqaad 1424

Ohk so here I am blogging diligently at the end of the day. Trying desperately to impress all those who read these lines. And hopeing against hope that 'the one' will read my blog, fall in love with me and we will live happily ever after. But only after being ostracized from out families and after running away from Pakistan by seeking political asylum in some remote country both of which we would learn to hate. And this seething hatred well destroy our relationship and we will break up leaving half empty shells of humans wanting and not wanting each other at the same time.

WOW! DAMN I am on FIRE today. Way to go Jalal.

Nothing of consequence happened today. Except that I had some wonderful chats with a few guys yesterday. So I am feeling nice.

So that all aside. You read the irregular blog for the day. I exercised again. All those muscles that I dont even think exist are hurting again. But less right now. And ... I felt more invigorated after todays exercise than yesterday. So something is right.

Oh and those of you who are either a- falling in love with me or b- going to. This daily exercise and the ensuing pain makes me seem like a Masochist. So for those of you who want to hear this. I am not a Masochist. Unless you like it. Then I am. JALAL stop being such a love-whore! NOW! Oh dear. Oh dear. I am talking to myself again. This is not good. This is not good. Lemme get a drink then I will continue.

Ohk when I went to get the drink I realized that ALL my muscles hurt. I am sure you are all VERY irrirtated by my constant whining about this exercise thing. But I am in pain. And if I dont talk to you guys who do I talk. Like real physical people (BAH HUMBUG) (Laughing loudly as if the idea presented in the previous sentence is too ridiculous). Oh and since noone (and no HANDSOME SEXY HUNK of a genie) miraculously poppup up to massage me. I will go to the nearest Traffic Light and sell myself to whoever will massage me. Bye. Ill tell you ALL about it tomorrow.

05 Ziqaad 1424

I exercised yesterday after a long long time. And now each and every cell in my body hurts. Each and every muscle is pulled and killing me. I am REALLY hoping for someone to massage me all over so I can live like a normal being.

Oh and I NEVER learn from my mistakes. I am going for exercise, again, in about 15 mins. Wish me luck.

04 Ziqaad 1424

Well just something I missed in my previous post.

After a very very long time I exercised today. A full one hour seven minute extravaganza. Which I should have known would add to my movement towards the magnificient crescendo of attaining Heinous Bitch status. Which I have to admit was helped by the exercise and the fact that every muscle in my body hurts. These damned Muscles arent there when you need them (Read when trying to pick someone up). But now I have all the muscles so that they can pain me. Yes YOU GUESED IT. I get cranky when I am in a bad mood phase.

Today I saw one of the most beautiful things ever. The moon was very low in the sky and hence was yellow. The dull custard yellow. And it was lying on its side. Like a bowl. And it was a wonderful sight. I felt so thankful to have been able to see it and to be able to appreciate that beauty. That awesome beauty. If I were in a garden and was seeing that Moon in a Pool. Ohhhhhhh. The epitome of aesthetics.

Thats it for today. Noew go to sleep all of you.

Shab ba Khair.

04 Ziqaad 1424

Oh well. The DAMN mood didnt go away like it is supposed to after I sleep for a whole night. Dreaming about big cats stomping me and me running all over the place to get away from them. I know I know I get all kinds of strange paranoid psychotic dreams when I am in a bad mood. Naahhhh Actually that is just the pissed off Jalal speaking. This was BY FAR the strangest dream in months.

So basically today was another day spent in passing well sculptured sarcastic remarks. One of them had VERY good results by someone who slipped in her high heels afterwards due to the shock. Then I spent some time writing email to people who dont email me and tell them that I am wonderful and that they should visit me some time. Again. I HAVE NO IDEA why I did that. Like I said Badmood Jalal is a different person. Oh and yes I acted like a Heinous Bitch by telling someone that their cooking wasnt good. She was NOT happy with me.

So the say was fine and lovely. And I was a bitch all day. Mind you a bitch ... NOT a slut. I want to be a slut but I am a bitch. I HATE THIS!

So all day I wanted to be with someone I love. I was listening to old romantic songs. And thinking. And listening. And thinking. I can go on but I think you got the idea. I was having all these images in mind of cuddling someone. Newly arrived spring. Lace curtains billowing in the wind. Ahhhhh. Well. We dont all get everything. ZIPPITY DOO DAA.

This gay called H found my blog through the GayPakistani board. And we had a wonderful chat after he added me to his MSN. It was wonderful. It is hard to find different and amazing people nowadays.

Amazingly the strange yet interesting searches to my blog have been shy in the last few days. I miss those. They were strange and cute at the same time. Whoever read this is warned that this sentence is NOT mirrored in my love life.

03 Ziqaad 1424

Well I am in a bad mood today.


Everytime I am in a bad mood. I get very angry and very irritated at things around me. I get a million things in my head. EVERYTHING that I do not like jumps into the fray. Now that I am in a bad mood I am thinking about a fight had when I was in 2nd grade and was beaten up. And many other such unpleasant occasions in my life. Including the time when had this argument with a guy in college. So you can well imagine it is a COLLECTION of things.

I mean COME ON. You people who just read what I wrote know that it is STRANGE. And well I would agree with you. Oh and by the way now I am angry at my being strange.

Everytime I am angry I relize that people should really get to know me. Because when I am angry they would REALLY like being with me. Because when I start ranting I dont stop. I am never confrontational so I wont say hit them with something. I will only start making EXCELLENTLY sculptured statements in Urdu and English about everything that is wrong in my life ... and in the world. I pass the most KILLER sarcastic remarks. I mean they are worth writing in diaries and using later on in life.

Then I snap out of the bad mood. I realize that I have said the most mean and rude things to people that I dont even mean to say. They are things that I would agree later are not only wrong but they are false as well. I mean ... come on ... calling a woman who is known for her beauty as butt ugly is not just wrong it is false as well. And then I told this exceptionally intelligent guy that he has in IQ of 12.3. So basically people who know me well WAIT for me to have a bad day and I do things that they AND me will laugh at for ever.

Now that I have presented to you a complete picture of the phenomenon that is 'Jalal's bad day'. I think ill take off. And let you all proceed with your lives in a much more shocked and fazed manner than before you read my blog today. Still thinking about me and how I am VERY VERY strange. And scarily fun to be with.

03 Ziqaad 1424

The Earthquake in Iran. The Chemical blast in China. The Airline crash in Benin. The Mudslides in America.



This is a bad time all over the world.

02 Ziqaad 1424

There comes a time in the life of every man when he realizes. Damn! I dont have anything to blog about. This in general is followed by a thought that ... Hey ... Lets try something new this time. But. I will not do that.

I will tell you that I chatted with someone who turned out to be too interesting. And shocking he had a blog. And then I realized from his blog that he was too good for me. And then I realized that I should NEVER tell anyone about my blog if I am going to mention them in it. Which I have done just now.

At times I feel that I can not control myself from deeds of infinite stupidity. Well all I can say for myself is ... damn it ... I cant even say it now.

Now that I have calmed down after some chocolates and a MUG of tea I will resume with the post.

So I had a long chat with two people actually. With one I was made suddenly aware of a SEVERE cultural difference between Pakistan and Britain. With the other I was suddenly made aware that I can find interesting people if only I try to look properly.

So with new hopes and new desires I shall finish this post. And wish you all a very good night.

Shab ba Khair.

02 Ziqaad 1424

A devastating earthquake has struck Iran. The current death toll is 4000.

inna lilla hay wa inna ilaye hay rajiyoon

I am deeply saddened and grieved at such a loss. We Pakistanis consider Iranians as our own people. There are artificial political lines in between us but the deep cutural and religious ties are deeper than those lines. I always consider Iranians as my own people. This sudden destruction and damage to a people I feel so dearly for is a shock.

I can only hope and pray that the departed receive eternal peace and the survivors are able to move on. And I hope that soon the scars left from this devastating calamity are healed. Our prayers are with our brothers.

01 Ziqaad 1424

Today is the first day of the new month of the Islamic calender. The month being Ziqaad.

Today we had a LARGE family dinner. The dinner was WONDERFUL and we had a LOT to eat. A very VERY fulfilling meal indeed. It seems that Master Jalaluddin Ahmed Khan doesnt have ANY shame or ANY regard for his FAST increasing waistline. Oh well. Another day another million calories. Or maybe two.

I think I told you all that I am learning to drive. I still havent learnt. Dont get me wrong. I am a VERY quick learner. I just havent gotten the time yet to really learn it. And on top of the the traffic here is HORRIBLE! Hmmmmmmm. This paragraph will pull you to something I wrote yesterday ... when I said that I am good at rationalizing. Well I think I am getting better every day.

Today I got time to watch 'A few good men' for the fourth time. This time with my oldest sister. It was a WONDERFUL movie. Any of you who havent seen it are ORDERED to go watch it. Any of you who like courtroom drama or military drama have to see it. The first scene is NOT ... I repeat ... NOT to be missed.. There were about 2-3 occasions where the movie was so intense that my jaw dropped onto my feet and according to Murphys Laws rolled itself into the most inconvenient corner possible. NO! NO! Not figuratively. LITERALLY!

There is this guy that I have been chatting with on MIRC and MSN over the last 2-3 years. Today I met him online on MSN again after about 1 month or so. I met him through my real persona and not through my pseudonym of Jalal. He doesnt know that I am gay. To him I am just another friend. But over time I have become really attached to him. We have never met but we have interacted a lot over the net. I think I am falling for him. And also I have a sneaking suspicion that he is gay and interested. I dont know what to say or do. All I can say is that I will wait and see what happens. But I will keep you guys posted.

Now that I have gotten your attention I would like to loose it as well. There were TWO sucide attacks on President Musharraf. Although I am not from the pro-Musharraf group but an attack on the President was shocking and angering to say the least. This makes a very bad precident for Pakistan and where it is going. Such violence is always thought of as a thing of the past but the spectre haunts us at every moment. I dont know what to say except that I am deeping shocked and they I can only hope for the well being of 'General Sahab'. And I can only hope and pray that Pakistan and Pakistanis have a brighter future sooner rather than later.

29 Shawwal 1424

My khala(moms sister) came from America a few days ago. She spent tonight with us. Ammi(mom) went to sleep but I kept up and talked with my aunt for about 4 hours. I really enjoy talking to her about all the things. About all the family politics and all thats been going on in America. Who said what to who. Who replied with a what and so on. Quite intriguing. Actually. And I guess Pakistani enjoy talking about all this. Keeps them busy. So I just nod along and say yes yes you are so right and I continuously think about things that matter. And they are so happy that I am such a nice chap.

God I am HORRIBLE as a person. :). But not really ... I think. Hmmmmmm.

Something that I got in an email. It was an answer given by a 5th or 6th grader in a test. The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a young female moth. Socrates was a famous old Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. He later died from an overdose of wedlock which is apparently poisonous. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.

Also ... can someone tell me why would someone search for the following on Google ... slut aunties from pakistan. And to top it all my blog is in the results. Why Allah why ? WHY ? I mean I am not THAT big a slut. Of course I have a severe problem with any form of future fidelity. But I am currently a virgin. I am sure that DEFINITELY does not put my in the slut catagorie. But whatever all that I can go on is that Google isnt even human or intelligent. Per se. If it were a human a would laugh at them and think of them as stupid.

Yes! I am GOOD at rationalizing.

28 Shawwal 1424

I have conducted my monthly update of the About me page. It sortof keeps changing and keeps a record of the change. Which I find interesting to note.

Well why dont I EVER have a nice pictures. My pictures are usually horrible. I am halfway between an ogre and a camel in most of them. In normal terms. I look horrible in my pictures. There is such a thing as being photogenic. Well I am photoungenic if there is anything like that. Now I am also starting to think that maybe my reflection in the mirror is also affected by this. Which would in effect make me much better than I think I am. Which is basically something that will like to see very much. And anyone who had read this paragraph KNOWS that I am very very strange. Well just think that this is a blog. What wonders would you see if I were to let it all loose. Remember my sleepy post?

Today I had an interesting gardening day. My grandfather is fond of gardening. So today he highjacked me and told me to fill pots with earth and mulch and I was made to water and seed and clean and scrape a LOT of things. I felt DIRTY after that. NO you sicko ... not that kind of dirty. I felt muddy. But it was nice. All the gardening. I think ill start doing it a lot more now. Since I like it and since my dada(paternal grandfather) thinks that I am doing it for him. Which is a double anti whammy. A british slang term I learnt from a british guy I was chatting with on MSN messenger.

Recently I have found myself being very attracted to Christian Slater. Watching interview with a vampire yesterday helped in the process speed up.

27 Shawwal 1424

First of all. Today I found another blog by a gay Pakistani. So I am quite thrilled.

I saw an interview with a Vampire. Now Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise, Antonio Banderas and Chistian Slater! The casting must have been done by someone who was a woman or a gay man. I mean come on ... look at what was selected.

One thing that is going along well is that my relations with my mom are much better now. I mean we have both calmed down to normal acceptable human limits. She doesnt do things that I get angry at. I dont get irritated by small things. But I love fighting with her. So does she. Seems like a trait we both share. I just want her to admit defeat. But god ... she is MY mom. ;) I am sure she is expecting the same from me. So no matter how much I tell her that the cook is better at cooking she will not yield.

I think I will have to find some other weakness that I can exploit.

Oh wow Jalal you just turned into something halfway between Chanikya and Machiavelli. WOW !!! AH FEEL GEWD !!! Whoa ... wait ... wait ... let me calm down a bit.

Now that I am completely calmed down. I will say that I am a nice and caring person who DOES NOT plan and scheme against other people. Yes. That is true.

Now I will get into bed which is being very enticing since it is slighlty cool and I love a nice cozy sleep in the winter.

My warm warm bed beckons. And I bid thee farewell.

27 Shawwal 1424

After thinking ... something that I do very seldom. I have realized that I really dont have the best blog in Pakistan. Actually there is this other blog that I think deserves the honour. KO.

I think this is the first time I am doing the right thing in a competitive situation. I seem to be growing up.

27 Shawwal 1424

Why will you people not vote for me ?

Is my blog really so unlikeable ?

Go there and vote for my blog NOW!

26 Shawwal 1424

So everyday has its own special rhythm. Some are slow like yesterday. Some are downright kill me please boring. Like today. If this keeps on I wont be able to pass tomorrow since it will definitely be about 586 hours long. Oh and yes. Tomorrow is a Monday. Wow. Seems like things are adding up to a grand finale.

Something that I am sure many of you will agree with. Luke Perry ... SWOON!

So today I had time to read about the history or homosexuality in medieval muslim cultures. From what I learnt lets just say that I want to go back in time and have an interesting time. Yeah you wouldnt guess it but there was a very rich homosexual scene back then. Which is very very enticing.

Alongwith all of that I kept thinking about what I was dreaming about last night. I remember it was something very interesting but I forgot as soon as I got up. Now since I know that the dream was such that if it were to take place in real life ... heads would roll and old women all over the world would shake their heads at how much the new generation has corrupted itself. Well wish me luck. I have a vague idea that maybe another blogger was in it. But then again I remember a large red flag being worn for protection or something. WOW! Dreams are a strange strange thing.

Oh and yes something I learnt today. When you pick up a bottle of water and put it to your mouth and take a BIG BIG sip. And then you realize it is not water in the bottle of Sprite. It is sprite. You are stupid. So you need to check every time. Because DAMN sprite is as zesty as 23 year old virgins.

25 Shawwal 1424

So well first of all. You have to vote for me.

Now I will tell you what I learnt in the novel Raja Gidh by Bano Qudsia that I was reading. The guy who was the central character was not completely normal. He was slighlty psychotic. And I could COMPLETELY relate to him. ALLAH!!! I keep getting all these hints and nudges. It is making me slightly uneasy. But on the other side my other personality is very very happy.


In other news my cousins/sister came from the US to Pakistan. She came over tonight. She has a daughter. Very young and Very cute. Since I am just getting out of the damned flu I had to clean my hands before I touched her. So I cleaned my hands FIVE times so i could touch the little baby girl. God I love kids. As long as they are taken care of by someone else and someone else takes them from me as soon as I want.

In other news I realized that my face is UGLY! I mean it is not like one of those faces where you will find something nice. It is those faces where you will find nothing nice. God. I seriously need to have someone tell me how beautiful I am. EWWWWWW. I am turnign in to a woman.

Excuse me while I go eat some raw meat and prove my manhood to myself.

Ahhhh. Done. And now I am sleepy. So I will see you later on. Bye.

25 Shawwal 1424

I dont know if I should do this ... ... what the heck ...

And I mean NOW!!! go on VOTE!.

24 Shawwal 1424

I watched an interesting movie with my sister today. Something about the grinch and christmas or something. VERY VERY KIDDIE flick. So for anyone above the age of 3.4 DO NOT WATCH IT ok ... unless you are watching it with someone in the aforesaid age range. There are stupid stupid jokes in it that you will NOT laugh at but they will. I love watching movies or tv with one other person. It is nice to share all the jokes and stuff. Oh and yes the real reason is that you can keep asking them to do stuff for you. Like get you water and cookies.

So when you get to JFK Airport in New York all the way from Karachi. You have just had a journey of 16 hours. And yes you are right. People are ready to bite or claw their way out of the airport. But then the staff at the airport makes it a point to make the lives of everyone a living hell so that they dont stay back in America. But most Pakistan end up doing that. So it is a failure. If you are reading this IT IS A FAILURE! Getting back to the story. So when I got out with the baggage I was about to bite on the railing to get over to my relatives. One reason was because I HAD to go to the bathroom. And since most of my internal organs were DEAD from waiting I ran into the bathroom. It was NOT clean but a mans gotta do what a mans gotta do. Then once I was calm enough to use my brain I realized one thing. There was no water there !!! Yes. No water. Just a lot of toilet paper and I remember. DAMN IT! This is America they dont use water they use toilet paper. And I was like FOOCKA. Then I waited in the batroom for about 35 minutes when my cousin came in to check up on me and ask me if I was alive or had I passed out. I said I was fine. I need water. He laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed. But after laughing for about 15 minutes he came back with a litre bottle of water.

Lesson : Never go to a batroom in America without preparing for the possibility of there being no running water in there.

And I learnt another thing in the US about bathroom.

Lesson : Sometimes batrooms in America do not have locks inside so people can walk in on you.

Since I want to seem normal I will STOP talking about bathrooms.

So I finished the novel Raja Gidh. Really liked it. It was very nice. Again I cannot recommend it more.

And the strangest search result landed someone on my blog.
married to a pakistani blog --- > ohkayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy ...

23 Shawwal 1424

I am BACK!

I will post the regular post for today later on. But until then.

I am BACK!

20 Shawwal 1424

So today I am feeling better. Not well. Better. But thanks be to Allah I am feeling better. I was having a very bitter taste in my mouth. Much like what one gets when they see U G L Y ! wearing sweaty skin tight t shirts.

Long long day. Tomorrow I start working again. So kind of excited. Today I listened to music all day long. And hence exactly due to that I am in a very good mood. Another reason would be the 10 emails I got today that had a LARGE number of Collinn Farell pics. So basically I couldnt resist and I had to go and watch S.W.A.T. The movie is only for people who like action or who like to watch well built men in police uniforms sweat and fight with bad guys and give cute head / abs / bicep / shirtless full body shots to the camera.

Now that that is done. I am about to snap and when I do I will take my internet cable guy. I will tie him to a chair. I will put a tv infront of him on full sound. And I will leave him. I will let him go after he has been screaming at the tv to shut up for at least 20 hours and is all hoarse and throat less.

There are no other little things to add to the blog. I will be able to post properly from this weekend. Just that the break frazzled me. NOONE! I repeat NOONE! Tells my boss I said frazzled so he can stop giving me breaks for ever.

19 Shawwal 1424

What do you say when someone says you are as fat as their neighbour. Who you incidentally know. Do you react more to being called fat or likened to that neighbour. At such times it is these small things that cause the construction of wonderfully built sarcastic comments. Because if you dont pay attention then you might say something stupid. Not that I am saying that God forbid there is anything wrong in that.

Just heard today that two people were talking about dogs. One was very afraid of them. The other was trying to calm the first. He said that I had a puppy and twin daughter. They always played together. When one of the daughters got her first tooth she bit the dog. He now says that he has to keep the children away from the dog since they are dangerous. Its not like you can teach the kids stuff like you can teach the dog. Hmmmmm. Interesting.

I think that the guy in TombRaiderII is attractive. No make that hot. No make that HOT!. And they have shown him in nice tight clothing. And they have shown him shirtless. And they have shown him kissing. Is it ok if I am VERY VERY aroused by his two day old beard.

So they caught Saddam. Big deal. So now the road to Saddam off to the Hague and Baghdad of to the UN should seem easier at least. But just make sure he doesnt die a martyr.

And finally to sing off. I am still as sick as I was before. Maybe even worse and my fever is growing as I type. I am gong to sleep and bye.

19 Shawwal 1424

This is not my regular daily post that will come later.

I am happy at the current peace moves by the people of India and Pakistan who finally managed to affect their governments. Causing a new road to peace to open and causing a new movement across the border. The Indian peace activist have reached Karachi and it seems there is something going on. An underground movement.

There is a sudden awakening to the sounds of a new dawn. There is a new realization that freedom is close by. There is a new feeling of life in our veins. There is a new desire to flex out muscles and make our nations. There is a new hope.

As a tribute to this region and its people ...

Saaray Janah Say Accha Hindustan Hamara
Hum Bulbulain Hain Is Ki Yeh Gulsitan Humara

Mazhab Naheen Sikhata Aapas Main Bair Rakhna
Hindi Hain Hum Watan Hay Hindustan Hamara

Yoonan o Misr o Roma Sab Mit Gaey Jahan Say
Ab Tak Magar Hay Baaqi Naam O Nishan Hamara

I am suddenly reminded that I have no blogging links with Indians. I think it is time I made my small contirubtion to building bridges.

18 Shawwal 1424

So the flu has a rhythm. I sleep all night with a high fever. Ammi gives me medicines about twice to bring down the fever. So it is about seating and feeling VERY VERY hot. Then I get up and remain in a semi haze all day. With the fever break half hour after medicines and coming about one hour after that.

Oh and yes ... my eyes are burning since dusk today. And I am getting chakkar (when you have a disbalance). And life is one big miserable HOLIDAY!!!

Since I am sure you all came here to read about me bitch about being sick and about what I am feeling and about how it is all affecting me and now that you have received it. I will take your leave. I am feeling weak and need to sleep now. Again. After 2 hours of waking up.

DONT WORRY!!! I will get well soon :)

18 Shawwal 1424

So the flu has a rhythm. I sleep all night with a high fever. Ammi gives me medicines about twice to bring down the fever. So it is about seating and feeling VERY VERY hot. Then I get up and remain in a semi haze all day. With the fever break half hour after medicines and coming about one hour after that.

Oh and yes ... my eyes are burning since dusk today. And I am getting chakkar (when you have a disbalance). And life is one big miserable HOLIDAY!!!

Since I am sure you all came here to read about me bitch about being sick and about what I am feeling and about how it is all affecting me and now that you have received it. I will take your leave. I am feeling weak and need to sleep now. Again. After 2 hours of waking up.

DONT WORRY!!! I will get well soon :)

17 Shawwal 1424

Today was like any other day in the life of a Flu victim living in a traditional eastern family. What is that ? Well wait ... DUH! of course I am going to tell you. Well last night the fever got stronger. My mom comes to my room every half hour to check up on it. When in the morning my fever got too strong. She closed the fan from the full blast that it was on. And she put ANOTHER covering on me. NOT a good idea. Soon I was sweating like a pig (EWWWW you perverts stop thinking about it in a SICK SICK perverted way). So I woke up an a sweat with all my coverings wet. Which meant that I had to change my bed in the middle of the night. My mom then FORCE FED me some soup at about 4 am and gave me medicine.

I mean I am a man. I kill wild birds and then I eat them. I get into horrible street fights and break bones. I go into the military and kill people in cold blodd. Yeah I am a man. And men are tough guys. I dont need my mom to make me feel like a sissy. Hmmmmmmmmm. Well maybe I do. But that doesnt make me any less of a man.

I have realized that I have to start working out and learn how to KICK peoples behinds like hell. That way when they say I am a sissy I can tell them that I can beat the hell out of them. Yeah right Jalal. Way to go. Coercing people into accepting your point of view. That is a real development in your character. And like days of yore I talk to myself on the blog and teach myself thing. While you all sit there SOCKED in disbelief. Hmmmmm.

Searches for the day ...
karachi watch and care ... ?
juice karachi killed ... what is the link between these words ?
pics of pakistani college girls ... frustration at its heights ...

Todays rant about society is about religious beliefs. I believe in a certain thing. I believe in one God. So does any christian or jew. So do most other religions in the world who do believe in a God. Those who dont believe in a God believe in some sort of over all source or power. May it be the rules of science or anything else. Every human believes that there is a system. And when asked they all believe in the eventual thing about a single system. Hence the concept of one God. So if you call him Allah, Bhagwan, Eeshwar, God, Yehvew or whatever. It is the same God. So I would prefer it if next time I am on political channels on MIRC people dont say that God is good and Allah is bad. DUH! idiots. Its the same guy. We use different names. Who I call Eesa and who english speakers call Jesus are the same person. Just because different languages have different words that doesnt mean they are different things.

16 Shawwal 1424

Well first of all bad news and a rant. I am very very sick(not that one ... intelligence deprived person) and ill. I have a light fever. I have an upset stomach. I have a head ache. I have light pain in all of my muscles and joints specially in back. And I also have a 'kharaash' or cut in my throat. I am also having a LOT of dry coughs which are KILLING my throat and hence me. I got it from my mom. She just had it two days ago. So basically right now I am feeling horrible and I am NOT talking to anyone at home in a civil tone at all and hence in my room.

I demand cyber hugs. Because that way you dont get to hug me in real life and HATE me for about 3-4 days. YEAH YEAH smart alecks ... I went to the doctor he said it is flu and I got medicine and took the first dose. I am NOT AT ALL any better. But you all know about me and illnesses such as these ... fever, flu and muscle pain. Makes me really horny. I know I know you think it is sick. But I DONT CARE ABOUT YOU. If I feel horny I will feel horny and NOT let anyone tell me what to feel horny about. Unless they have leather tongs. HMMMMMMM. Seems like I am getting delirious. Ill wait for 5 minutes and then finish the post.

Delirium gone. I should NOT be bitching so much because well I am on leave from work. And I am already doing one thing. And it is something that is NOT at all being affected by the disease. Reading a wonderful novel. 'Raja Gidh' by Bano Qudsia. I have read it once before but this time it is VERY VERY deep. I would tell ALL of you who can get their hands on it to READ IT. Please for me, for literature and for the sake of all that is beautiful and holy in this world. GOOD GRIEF! Delirium break.

Delirium break over. Well I notices one problem lately with my blog. The number of comments does not get updated regularly. I mean it shows 0 comments but when I click on it it shows lists. So if I am at all slow in replies that is due to the damned problem. Although I must say that the enetation people are helpful and fix it every time I tell them to. Unlike MAK where I see the comments once every week and I forget all the nice and cute puns that I want to pass over. Ill start mailing him now. But then how will everyone know that I am funny and cool. Hmmmmm. Ill come up with a result and tell you all about it.

Today rather than telling you all about the STRANGE searches leading to my blog. Ill tell you what to search for on Google and recieve a very interesting First result also seen via the I am feeling lucky button.
- miserable failure

Todays rant about society in general is about hospitals and behaving in them. If you have blood oozing out of your bandages and onto the floor you DO NOT laugh aroung with your friends and keep spitting behind you. You go somewhere where they clean the bandages up and then you go to a school for 10 years. Oh and also you dont keep couging loudly without covering your mouth with your hands of prefeably a tissue. You dont want everyone else to catch what you have. Oh ! I think that was me! Hmmmmm. No No that was the guy next to me. I remember because I used up about 5838834939 tissues and threw them all in a special waste paper basket. While that MORON kept couging at me when I got up and stood leaving the charir empty for about 15 minutes.

16 Shawwal 1424

Raag Darbari is a very beautiful Raaga. Ustad Mehdi Hassan is a master. His ghazal "Ku Ba Ku Phel Gai" in Raag Darbari is a moving moving piece. Just listened to it and I wanted to share this moment with others. Such beauty needs to be shared.

15 Shawwal 1424

Ohk the project ended today. I am sitting on my computer chair and I am very very tired. It went very well. I loved it. Hotguy was HOT and I did catch him staring at me once. So I think if he stays on I could try to make a move. Unfortunately slutguy was only a one day addition to the work scene or I would have definitely done something. My boss loved the work I did and he was very impressed. Although he didnt ask me to sleep with him which means my promotion is not due in the next few months.

And now the news that will make you are jealous as hell and envious with unconcealable envy. I have 4 days off from work. My boss said I can have the time off. So I have 4 days. NO work for the future and nothing to do. So I went to Urdu Bazaar today and got three urdu novels. I went there and I went berserk and finally settled for these.

The Urdu Bazaar is a large bazaar that has MANY MANY stores that sell books and stationary. It is like a supermarket for books and stationary and printers. So for me it is like heaven. I have to pay my respects there every week or I seem to be comitting GRAVE sins. So I went there. Walked around and went to about 20 shops and finally got three novels that I will read. All of them for a second time and tell you what I think about them. Tut tut the people who can read Urdu for not having read them and the people who can not read Urdu for not being able to read them. And if any of you have read them act like an intellectual inferior and say you havent. It helps my self confidence.

There is a book shop in the bazaar that is the best in the world. My friend had to DRAG me out of the shop. I didnt want to leave. I wanted to sit right there on the old and scraped plastic tiles and read the contents of the shop. THANK god my friend stopped me or I would have been an old man who everyone thought was an idiot.

And since now If I write two more paragraphs I will die of sleep I will write one more and go to sleep. And go to sleep. This being that paragraph is the last and with this paragraph I end my post. No seriously there is not more. DONT read ahead. Aa. Aa. DONT!. Ok ... good. Now that you desist I will go to sleep. Bye.

14 Shawwal 1424

Too busy to write except that Hotguy at work was DEFINITELY caught looking at me. By me. I am thinking about losing my virginity in the office bathroom on this platform that we are supposed to put our laptops on. God I am SUCH a slut. Or I might get beaten up and left for dead in some alley in which case you will hear from me after I recuperate in about 1 month. Then I will abduct Hotguy and tie him down and put him in my basement for the rest of my life. God I am not only a slut I am a complete PSYCHOTIC STALKER as well.

Hmmmmmm. I need sleep. Bye.

13 Shawwal 1424

Too busy to blog. Also the cable net guy will die a horrible death soon.

12 Shawwal 1424

Today was an interesting day. Being Sunday the element of spending time and taking part in indolent activities being the central theme. I LOVE DAWN newspaper's special Sunday edition. I love going to the houses of relatives where other newly arrived relatives from America are staying. Basically because the newly arrived ones give gifts like Eidi. ;) Sometimes a lot of it.

And then I was talking to a guy I know from college who was very hot and hence on my MSN messenger list :). He mentioned how hungry he was. Then he told me that at that moment he had a special craving for cherry. I went BERSERK with glee and wanted to tell him that I am a gay virgin. I have NO idea how I stopped myself. Oh yes! Now I remember. I pinched my arm purple. Yeah! It still hurts. Why cant I just think before I do something. ALLAH!

There was a power outage a few days ago. My windows 2000 DIED in it. Dont tell me to repair it. It is VERY badly GONE. So I installed it again. So here I am. Angry and agitated. And perpetually horny. God I am sounding like a BIG loser.

Oh and another thing. For the past two days my internet connection is giving me trouble. Well I think I know what to do. Ill go to the house of the ISP guy. Ill cut out his intestines. Then I will strangle him with them. Then I will use them as a rope and tie him to a major traffic light in the city. So that others see the gore and NEVER EVER mess with me.

Strangely no strange /absurd /perverted /sick /thoughprovoking /shocking /unique searches were made today.

Todays rant about society. If you are on the road. DONT honk your horn like a FRIKKING IDIOT. This should apply specially when you are STANDING on a red light ALONG with about 500 other cars. When the traffic is jammed for about as far as the eye can see. When the car slows down to turn right and he is in the RIGHT lane. Because personally I dont think anyone is on the road SOLELY to stop in front of you so that they can waste their time ONLY so you get hurt. LOSE THE PARANOIA! GROW THE HELL UP!

Or in other words DO NOT honk your horn unless as a way of saying "HEY YOU ARE ABOUT TO HIT ME !!!" or "HEY I AM ABOUT TO HIT YOU !!!". Notice the THREE exclamation marks. Used to show URGENCY in this situation. And try to be civil on the roads of the city. The way you drive SHOWS your background and your family.

11 Shawwal 1424

Interesting things in life abound. And I miss ALL of them. The current project is KILLING me. It is gnawing at my soul and making me empty from inside. But I love the work. So I have NO idea what I am talking about.

Some new faces at work. Ill refer to them as Hotguy and Slutguy.

I can see hotguy when he is working or sitting in his office. OK! I am NOT a stalker OK! I just look at him to see all that is beautiful in the world. So hot guy is hot and I want to HAVE him. But that is not going to happen since I will never get the nerve to ask him if he is ahem ahem interested in non conformist activities. Then he will turn out to be gay because he seemed intelligent and he will go out with someone and I will hate myself for the rest of my life.

Then there is Slutguy. Well he is the one who is DEFINITELY coming onto me. I say definitely because I saw him looking at me one too many times. The thing is I dont want to try out anything with him because he is from a different world and it will NOT work out. And I will NOT give away my cherry only for the reason that is getting old where it is. I will give it for love and lust (Notice the and).

So Slutguy will lust after me. I will lust after Hotguy. A strange cosmos that is my work place. And no more ridiculous troubles with my boss.

Todays rant about society. DONT YOU DARE scowl at me when I honk my horn at you when you try to cross the road UNDER a foot bridge. DONT YOU DARE. Next time I might snap and become one of those animals who actually scream from their car at others on the road.

And finally something that I need to say. GOD I need to get laid. VERY VERY much. Why am I stopping myself from this treat ? Why god why ? HELP ME !!!

10 Shawwal 1424

Tomorrow is the big day. I am slightly nervous today. But I have prepared myself mentally for the outcome of the first presentation of my project. Ohk you are right. I am not slightly nervous. I am VERY nervous. So I hope I wont be so shocked when they tell me what it will be about the presentation. Well wish me some luck. I am TOO nervous. I think i will gnaw on my nails to calm down.


Ahhh. Calmed down finally.

The strange searches for today would be ...
karachi fucked up ---> Ohk Ohk I admit. It is true. But it is not at all flattering. Ohk. So I am indignant by the implied truths in here.

Todays rant would be. When there is a traffic jam. Bumper to Bumper. For a very long stretch of road. And there is some movement 100 meter ahead. DO NOT. I repeat. DO NOT honk your horns like an idiot. NOONE will disappear into thin air and leave a clean path for you. So grow the hell up and stop honking your horns.

09 Shawwal 1424

Another day when nothing important happened. I have been very busy lately and the ongoing project will take up about a few more weeks. God I hope I finish it in time and be done with it. This nothing to do all day long scenario is not very very interesting.

I saw a VERY beautiful "Paandaan" today. For my culturally aware brethren and for foreigners. A "Paandaan" is a small metallic(Silver) box where we keep Paans(Betelnuts). Usually they are kept by grandmothers and every family has OLD OLD ones being passed on through the generations. Most of them have the MOST WONDERFUL engravings. I saw the one that came in my Daadi's(Paternal Grandmother) Jahaiz (dowry). It is wonderful. The most beautiful piece of silver ever. I would post a picture but it will be too obvious and I dont want my father to throw me out ... yet.

Strange searches for the day would include
male cats name in pakistan ---> AHHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAH !!!!!
Car number plates Pakistan ---> Two things. 1- Why did someone search this. 2- Why is my blog is the results.
pics of sandpaper ---> I am not THAT masochistic yet.

Ladies and Gentlemen what you have been waiting all through the blog for. Yes. Todays rant about my society. There is such a thing as a modicum of decency and morals of public behaviour. Whistling at girls and making comments at them is sick. What is sicker is that thier party of 5 hooligans gets beat up by 1 guy. YES! 1 guy. Seems some mens pants are only for women. Sissies. For a change pick on someone your own size.

08 Shawwal 1424

I just put on 1Kg of weight. Excuse me while I go chop off my foot. No seriously. I am already FAT as an elephant. When I thought that I cannot grow fatter. As it is against ALL the rules of biology I DO put on 1 Kg. Ohk Ill meet you after the foot.

I am back. Couldnt chop it off. Seems I am Fat AND a wuss.

Nothing of note happened today. I saw the movie. Kate and Leopold. Nothing of note happened today. I mean it is ok for EXTREMELY romantic women. But even the DASHING Hugh Jackman could not make me pronounce the movie at all above a 1/10 rating. Of course Meg Ryan is also a good actress but COME ON. I didnt like it.

Listened to a beautiful old Indian song today. "Dekha aik khawab" all of you who have it right now are ORDERED to put it on and listen to it NOW. It is a beautiful piece of sublime music. One of the reason I like to listen to Indian Oldies. They are melodious. They have good lyrics. The singers have nice voices.

An interesting link here would be http://www.nytimes.com/2003/12/03/opinion/03KRIS.html. Interesting read.

Todays list of strange searches that led to my blog ...
japanese pakistan chatting ---> No idea what-so-ever about this one.
msb tallest buildings karachi ---> Well I think it is right. But why my blog ?

Todays rant would be about people cursing. It is very common for men here to utter the most beautifully grafted sentences full of expletives on EVERY possible occasion. Well it is NOT cool. It is not about being macho and MAN MAN. It is about being from the most horrible background without anything resembling a good upbringing. So next time before you intend to show what your parents did or did not teach you on the street think for one minute.

07 Shawwal 1424

Today my blog had the highest number of hits in a day since it started. Thank you for sharing in my life. :)

07 Shawwal 1424

So life goes on. Your sisters grow up and become more adept and sarcasm than you are. DAMN! Yes that is what is going on. My sister is on college now and is growing progressively better at sarcasm. Hmmmm. This means ill have to be better at sarcasm. I cant believe she beat me to it. Well I am very quick and good at sarcasm. I cant believe my place is being taken by someone else.

I just saw a guy with the strangest laugh today. I think he knows about it as well. We were about 10 people sitting there. When he laughed we all looked at him. He knew. We knew. Awkwardness 101.

Something that I never knew. But with time grew to accept it. If you spend some time everyday HATING your tv or internet cable provider. Then you are (1) normal and (2) from the modern age.

Some good news from the sub continent. The idiots that sit in the corridors of powers in India and Pakistan decided that rather than have an arms race they now want to have a peace race. Both have been trying to outdo each other in trying to show the world that they are more peaceful than the other. WOW! IDIOTS! What is needed is for a cane or bamboo rod with which a long line of our leaders should be spanked until they start enjoying it. Then we should stop. And really hurt them.

Another piece of good news due to this developement. The KSE(Karachi Stock Exchange) 100 index shot up by 195 points in one day. That is 5 % WOW. I hope my shares grew or I will kill my friends A.R. who forced me into buying those stocks.

I just love to listen to old Indian movie songs. They are nice. Some of them are more than songs. They are little pieces of nostalgic memories.

Todays listing of STRANGE searches that led to my blog ...
BA notes help karachi pakistan ---> No use studying at the last moment
anokha t shirt ---> Ohhhhkkkkkkkk!
50 year old sluts ---> WOW! how in the name of chilled sweetened milk did that yield my blog as a result

Todays rant about Pakistan and its society. Why the HELL do women ALWAYS yak about jewellery and clothes. WHY DEAR GOD WHY!!! CONTINUOUSLY FOR 53 !!!minutes. I looked at the watch. People should have the courtesy to not talk about EXTREMELY boring things when someone else is stuck with you for 53 minutes.

06 Shawwal 1424

Dont you love it when you go for slow drives with your family. With Abbu(dad) driving the car. The Ammi(mom) in the seat besides him. With you CRAMPED/CRAMMED in the car seat with your sisters. Looking at things outside and laughing and talking. Then the guy on the motorcycle in front of you falls down. You screech your car to a stop and the guy behind you hits you lightly. OH! You DONT love it? Strange because I dont love it either. Hmmmm. Maybe it is a human thing. Whatever!

I just love long long warm showers in the winter. I take a long shower and I love it. I shave. Trim my goatee. Cut my nails. Scrub my feet and hands. Rinse my face. Shampoo my hair and clean my skin squeaky clean. Ohk after writing the current paragraph and then reading it I realized one thing. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME!!! Why am I telling people what I do in a shower. And I was NEVER this boring in my LIFE. Belive me. No No really trust me. Oh come ON I KNOW YOU DONT. TRUST ME NOW! OR ILL COME OVER AND KICK YOU! Hmmm. Whoa! Jalal. Calm Down! Hmmmm did I just talk to myself. I think Ill move on to more interesting topics. Where I dont come off as a psychotic idiot.

Strange Google searches for the day
mcb job karachi ---> Yeah! Right!
"david fumero" gay ---> khushi say mar na jatey agar aitebar hota (Ghalib)
karachi aunties looking young man ---> Horrible Grammar. Perverted Dude. Bad Choice.

Today I listened to a very beautiful song. It is from the Urdu Speaking heartland in Northern India. The theme is that a daughter is being wed to someone from a faraway place. It seems as if she will not be able to come back often to meet her family. So at the time of her Rukhsati(Girls departure after marriage) she sings this song. "kahe ko biyahee bides". It means that why am I being wed to a foreign land. It is a wonderful piece. Usualy sung in a melancholic mood. That of the bittersweet moments of departure from an old life and entrance into a new one. Leaving memories and Gaining hopes. A wonderful piece. And at times the poetry simply moves one to tears. Specially when I think of my sisters and one day they will all be Rukhsat from this house. Sortof makes me useasy. Rukhsati is a very emotional moment for the family. Happiness for the new step. Sadness at the distance. Ahhh. I have no idea how I will cope when my sisters get married.

No rant about my society today. Too melancholic to say anything to make it worse.