Monday - 05 Rabi us Sani 1428 - 03 Vaisakh 1929 - 23 April 2007

With the fear of sounding overly repetitive, it has been some time. I would ascribe my absolute lack of linguistic and mental abilities to my vampiric capitalistic complete devoid of sensient brain cell organization. But then again, who can really say who is to blame generally.

So, recently I was supposed to move to another department. I was hoping it would be the one with the hot manager, with whome I had planned to have wild animal sex on the office desk and then fall to the cold marble floor during the dangerous and rather illegal liaison and not even notice. But it turns out that my passionate tasting of the forbidden fruit was not to be for I was shifted to another department with a rather brainless sub human evil imbecile as a boss who I am sure would not be able to get an erection without dedicated help from at least four of his team members because it just was so complicated.

Please dont get me wrong. I like evil men. I love evil men. Especially Satan. I am sure sex with him would be torrid, for want of a more intense word. But then again I am expecting Satan to have a smashing sense of humour, like all villains in cheap hollywood movies.

Apart of my sojourn in the dark malicious corridors of Vampire Inc life is basically good. I have had to come to out to my older sisters. Who have taken it as an aberration and have promptly asked me to pray regularly and only then will I become normal and this anomaly will be removed as it has to be the work of the devil. Of course gay sex is wrong. But then again they havent seen Pavel Novotny. How can someone so muscular and extremely sexable (on a scale of 1 - 37 : 35) be wrong. Doh! Of course being gay is ok. If only Colin Farrell was gay, I would absolve myself completely. All said and done, I am supposed to find a good girl very very soon and get married.

And, my mother has been working to this effect. I have laid down two conditions for the girl, a - she needs to be intelligent, and b - she needs to be a good house keeper, food and the works. So I am quite assured that since they will never find a woman with both of these abilities I wont get married in the next 673 years, the time it takes for a woman like that to be born out of a society much much much more mature than ours. And, if there was one like that then the rest of the women in Pakistan would make he life hell and wont accept it. So I am clear all over.

Which reminds me that the sultry, humid, windy Karachi summers are here. And along with the humidity, temprature, flies, and power breakdowns / blackouts my libido has gone through the roof. I have finally turned into a sexually deprived maniac hunting for sex like a famished Lion hunts amongst the Zebras.

I done know if you have noticed but I seem to have used animal and nature related words a lot. Thats it, no more watching Animal Planet in the hope of watching Dolphins have sex and actually trying to learn something and implement it in real life. Perverted!

Oh, and in case you didnt like this entry. I wrote a five pager at the end of which my frikking Netscape crashed. I knew technology was out to get me. But I fooled it.

2 Comments:

At 14:19, Anonymous Zag said...

okay, answer this one quick, who would you pick between Dr. Evil and austin powers???? :)

btw, u came out in front of your sisters??? Gutsy.... and immediately after that your mom went into overdrive finding the women of her dreams for you, well what are the chances that your sisters spilled their guts?

and what the hell is pavel novotny??? thats a name??? What the hell? Were his parents taking some kind sick revenge for the pains his mom had to endure during child birth???? oh and u never know about actors and singers, they can turn out gay anyday...

waisay there are girls like the ones u mentioned, only they are already married cuz they are intelligent first, and after marriage is when they become fantastic cooks because thats when they realize that the saying "way to a man's heart is thru his stomach" is true :)

and wtf is up with the Dolphin sex????? shhheeeeaattt!!!! you are wierd u know that!!!

and stop writing such long posts, cuz i hate typing such long comments :P :P

oh and welcome back :)

 
At 08:26, Anonymous Maryam said...

hello there, that bit about the girls. fucking hilarious and oh so true. i like to think ofmyself as intelligent but the proof's in the pudding. my dad and everyone at home was STUNNED this morning when i was cleaning the house up a little. ha!

ps: thanks for droppin' by :)

 

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