Tuzk e Jalali

Saturday - 09 Shawwal 1426 - 21 Kartika 1927 - 12 November 2005

After a week of work, bitching and buying a little too many new underwear (I won’t tell you their colour goddamnit!) the guys decided, all of a sudden, to go to the beach for the night. There was a mad rush of lies, deceit and treachery as we tried to get each other to do all the groundwork. I will have you know, my doting audience, that I turned out to be an evil, scheming manipulator and wiggled my way out of any work that might have come my way.

We got to the hut a little before sunset. As per accepted norms we lied down in the middle of the beach to watch the sun and the sea. The stars and the see. The moon and the sea. The stars and the sea. The sun and the sea. Sunlit walks in the warm waters of the sea on a warm November evening. Moonlit walks in the warm waters of the sea on a cool November night. Starlit walks in the warm waters of the sea on a chilly November night.

As with each and every one of my trips to the beach it was Turtle hatching season. I don’t understand, maybe turtles hatch all year round, or, when I go there they just hatch because of my overpowering hormones exuding themselves into the air. Needless to say, it is one of the more wonderful feelings for a gay guy to sit on a giant sea turtle. Boys, highly recommended. Girls, highly recommended.

One of the more beautiful things about all-guy weekends out and about is the completely brain dead moronic bets that people get into. I mean, how the fuck did M say that he can eat more than me. Of-fucking-course I won the bet. Not everyone can eat 9 pizza slices just after eight people have finished one kilo of Nimko (all of you poor creatures who have not eaten Nimko, I feel for you). Oh and yes, in case you were wondering. There was a LOT of Pakola there as well.

Most of the rest of the night was a kind of a blur. I think this may have been because I had at least ten loaded cigarettes and at least one bottle of whisky during the twelve hour interval. Yes, yes, yes, I know I am a complete freak but how the hell do you expect someone to keep warm under such circumstances.

After reading the ensuing summary I am pretty sure that the night was one of excessive debauchery, corruption, sin, decadence and excess.

Picnic Summary :

9 - Number of pizza slices eaten

4 - Number of barbequed chicken legs eaten

0.2 Kilos - Amount of Nimko eaten

8 - Bottles of Pakola drank

0.5 Litres - Amount of Scotch

8 - Number of filled cigarettes

8 - Bottles of Coke added to the Scotch

9 - Bathroom Trips

3 - Non Bathroom Trips

7 - Number of times S told the same 15 minute long story