تزک جلالی

17 Rajab 1425

I will present before you - Abnormal bathroom mirror conversation number 18 of the week.

So, I go into the bathroom and look at myself in the mirror and this happens,

Jalal : You are disgusting.
Me : Excuse me?
Jalal : You are a disgusting animal. You have not had a bath for four days. You stink.
Me : Oh you are the one to say! You haven't had one for four days either.
Jalal : Well, I don't care, you are dirty as hell. So just back off to where you are either upwind or too far away to cause nausea.
Me : You dirty little lilly livered yellow vermin!
(I suddenly realized that I am not in a western movie.)
Me : Oh will you just shut up. It is my body and I will keep it as I like it.
Jalal : Yeah, I can see that.
Me (very very menacingly) : What is that supposed to mean?
Jalal : Just that you are a fat, sweaty, smelly pig.
Me : You go too far! (I imagine that I slap Jalal's face with my napkin)
(I suddenly realized that I am not in a European period movie.)
Me : Oh please. You know which of us is fat. And yes. Shut up.
(I fog the mirror.)
Jalal : Don't you dare fog me. Oh how dare you! Come back here sissy! Come back! Co m e .....

Then he suddenly disappears in the fog. I am happy and I finally have a bath after four days. Yes, I am a very dirty dirty man. Once in college, I didn't bathe for a total of 3 weeks. One of the proudest stories of my life.

I think I will go now. Bye.

posted by Jalal @ 21:08