16 Jamadi us Sani 1425

What the hell is wrong with me. What the hell is wrong with me. I was talking to R and I realized one thing. I can never be happy with guys. I keep cribbing and cribbing.

I mean God what the hell do I want. He told me he smokes. I did not like that. I thought that he was one of those guys who smokes and smells bad and all.

Then the next day he told me he was joking and he doesnt smoke. Then I thought that he is one of those boring guys who doesnt do anything wild.

What the hell is wrong with me. Same goes for his having / not having sex a lot with different men. Same goes for his working hard / being a happy go lucky guy. I mean what the hell. I want him to be one thing and when he isnt like that I dont like that either.

Am I being too idiotic.

What happened to me being accepting of what people are. Damnit I have to learn this.

And finally. Damnit. I think he reads this blog. Lets just hope he doesnt.


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