This is what happens every fucking time. Whenever I am in a fight or in a tense situation I do this. Everytime.
Damn it. I never storm out. I never go for a walk. I never stop talking to the other person. I never do something that might make them feel sorry. Instead I punish myself and try to make it seem as if everything is ok. NOT for my sake. But for the other persons sake I dont fucking want them to feel bad.
And every fucking time. EVERY fucking time I end up hurting both me and the other person. What the Fuck should I do now? Haan ? What?
I take care not to hurt someone. And they get hurt all the same. What the fuck do I do ? If I dont care they will get hurt all the same ? WHY ?
Damn it. I dont know what to do. It just sux. Why is that everytime I stand at a fork both the choices given to me lead to a situation worse than I am alread in. So I get a choice. And the feeling of helplessness when I fail. I fucking hate this.
I had a thing with my cousin. I didnt talk to him after that. Now I cant storm out of the house. Coz then he would think that I am very angry. And I cant stay in the house coz then he would think that I am there to mock him. See. I hate this. Two choices BOTH FUCKING SUCK! DAMN IT!
Thoughts, emotions, actions, desires and feelings of Jalaluddin Ahmed Khan. A twenty four year old psychotic sarcastic blogger from Karachi. Cute, smart, funny, sexy and interesting (well, of course everyone exaggerates). Enjoy your stay and feel free to drop me a line. Oh, and yes, in case you are wondering, I am, indeed, gay.
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