تزک جلالی

The Runaway ... Part 1

Well this is a long boring post about the problems that I am facing as of this moment. I would suggest most of you to not read it and spare yourself. Those who continue CANNOT blame me.

We I have been having severe problems with my mom. We fight all the time. All the time. It is horrible. She isnt like this with anyone else. I am not like this with anyone else. We get into fights on small things and I we cannot stop and end up completely emotionally exhausted and irritated with each other. I never got along will with my mom. Never. Not for the past 5-6 years that I remember well I have NOT gotten along with her at all. We do not agree on ANYTHING. Last year we checked out around 40 houses and we did not agree on ONE of them. The ones she liked I did not the ones I liked she did not. Except for food we are the opposites in EVERYTHING. I mean it is intersting meeting someone like that but you can not live with someone like that. We would always get into fights. Our likes and dislikes are completely different and we cannot stand each other choices in anything. If she wasnt my mother and we had to live together one of us would be dead by now. Humans can not put up with this.

Well to top this all off she is also having trouble due to PMS. So she is horrible to all the men in her life. I am a guy I cannot go around all day talking about how I feel and think and continuously sharing my emotions with her. I AM A FUCKING GUY OK !! GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK !! I AM NOT A PIG !! BUT I WILL NOT GO ALL DAY SHARING MY EMOTIONS !! So I am not a good son. I am a failure as a son as I do not compliment enough and I do not ask enough. So she thinks I do not care. And she in continuously angry at me. For the last two weeks every time we meet we get into a fight within 2 minutes. It is like the ending phases of a long and very very bad break up. It is horrible. I cannot stand her for 1 minute. She cannot stand me for one minute. Well so I had another fight today with her. I got so angry I left home. I am at a cyber cafe outside my house. And basically I have left home.

Well everything aside I am in a state of shock. I am a complete failure. I can not get along with my mother. I am such a complete failure. What kind of an animal am I? This is the worse thing that can happen to a Pakistani. I have been taught about the importance of family all my life. And I believe in it as well. But I completely fucked that up and I cannot make amends at all. I fucked it up. I fucked up the most beautiful thing in my life. I am such a complete failure. I have hurt them all my leaving them and I have hurt them all by being horrible with them.

posted by Jalal @ 01:09