تزک جلالی

I have just realized one thing about myself. I love to care about people. I want to care about people. I would love to sacrifice for people and do something for them and redeem myself.

But I dont.

I am scum. I dont care about people at all although I would love to. Which brings me to the completely two faced attitude towards life.

I am a bad guy who wants to be a good guy but can not because he is a bad guy.

I hate all this. Maybe I am going insane. Maybe I am already insane because no normal human would think the way I do.

FUCK! what if I am insane. What if I think I am normal but I am insane. What then ? Who will tell me ? And if they do tell me do they know what they are talking about?

After reading this post I think ill go find some drug and lose consciousness for 1-2 days so that I can calm down.

posted by Jalal @ 00:52